Stuck!

Guess what! We all get stuck when writing . . . about anything. Sometimes it gets even worse when we write about ourselves. How do we snap out of it? Write. I know, I know. You don't want to write. I don't want to write.

Simply start: Sit, stand, squat, lie down. Grab a pad of paper and pen or pencil or crayon or--whatever. Use a laptop or a digital device--absolutely anything that will record the letters that turn into words and sentences.
Then write. Write anything. Write about the carpet or the chair or the computer issues. Complain about how you HAVE to write. Laugh at yourself. Get angry. Get frustrated. And write about it.

The key is that writing often puts in "empty spaces." If we exercise, our minds are free to think of the things we really need to think. If we get massages, sometimes we become so relaxed that we think of the stress that is being released, and we cry!

When we write, we think, "I'm stuck." Then we walk away. (Okay, I walk away. Maybe you cry. I know a lot of movie characters type and write; and then toss piles of crumpled papers on the floor.) The point is, we would rather vacuum or eat or sleep.

There are two ways to tackle what we call "writer's block" or "stuck!" The first way is simply to write free thoughts. Don't worry about what you are writing. Just keep writing for 20 minutes (and no fair pausing for a stretch!). The alternative is to write about WHY you don't want to write. That's the tricky one.

If you don't want to write, it may be that you have changed your mind about the direction of your story. If so, revisit your original outline--or consider actually writing an outline. In the "Write Your Life" version, the outline is there. It came in chronological order, delivered for free, your entire life up to this point. So think about it--as you write about it.

Example: I had a fight with my boyfriend today. I know it's my fault, but it was also his fault. Oh. Bummer. I think it's my fault because, um, um, um, I hate to be told what to do. Why do I hate to be told what to do? Well, because he was wrong, and I was right. Thai really IS better than Italian. But why did it hurt so much? Does it matter? What if we went to separate restaurants? What if we had found a compromise? What if we had flipped a coin?

Here's the difficult part of this particular writing experience: The food choice was not that important. You could have worked it out. That means there is something wrong with the relationship, or, perhaps, you are sensitive to "never being heard" or knowing "I'm right!" Think about it. Write about it. Argue with yourself on paper. Then go back to that life chronology that you started? Anything you want to add? Anything that helps you understand yourself and your reactions and behaviors more clearly?

This is not an exercise in learning to blame yourself and despise your behaviors. It is a lesson in understanding your feelings so that you can feel better. Yes, your boyfriend was probably wrong. But you feel terrible. If you understand your role in your original family, your passions in life now, some traumatic experiences that shaped your vision--then you may begin to right your life.